COURAGE AND FEAR

                              COURAGE AND FEAR

What exactly is courage?

What exactly is fear?

I'm going to define them using the Merriam Webster dictionary.

Courage is the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger. Anxiety and loss of Courage.

 Fear is an emotion, Courage is merely Toughening your mind to face your fear. This is just basic psychology

I will explain fear in bits so we can know how to tackle it and actually toughen our mind against it and be courageous.

The fact that you feel fear doesn't make you a coward, it means you're human even the bravest of men feel it. But when you let fear grip you to the point that it clouds your intellectual thinking process, you have lost that battle.

PHASES OF FEAR

There are 4 phases of fears (forms in which fear grips humans) According to Jewish Scholars

·       Self-Sabotage

At this level, Fear has gripped you to the point where you have Accepted defeat and slowly self destruct mentally, Later regretting (I wish i tried harder) To fight fear or build courage at this point, You have to admit that fear is what is driving you (The Yorubas will say the day a mad man knows that he is mad is the day he will gain back his sanity) only then will you realize that there are other options available asides Defeat(failure) . Failure can sometimes seem a welcome relief from the pain of staying in the game.....Always fight that urge, only then can you be courageous.

·       Fight

When humans are fearful of an adversary, fighting back is often a satisfying option. This is good, but sometimes Channeled in the wrong direction. Fighting takes an enormous reserve of energy and resources. Most people fight their past, hoping they will move forward, this drains one mentally fast. Fighting your spouse, friends, siblings, coworkers, fighting your dreams instead of nurturing them, fighting yourself.

Pick your fights wisely, stand your ground against fear driven reactions that urge you to fight.

·       Retreat

So often our fear causes us to want to return to what is familiar rather than to face challenges that's because the threat of the unknown appears much larger than it really is.

In the side mirror of a car, it is written "objects appear bigger than they seem", That mirror is your fear. Most people in this category are those who have fear of failure.

·       Learned helplessness

This face of fear is perhaps the worst, at this point fear has gripped you to the point where you no longer have focus, no direction you're like a paddle less canoe on a river just going with the flow of the river, wherever it takes you.

People in this category has a tendency to rely on others, on God (Remember Heaven help those who help themselves), they have no control over their lives. No matter how strong your beliefs in God or others, they won't help you if you are not trying to help yourself.

  Nigerians are the most religious beings on earth, cause we are gripped by fear, fear of failure, fear of Hell fire, Fear of Dying, e.t.c Relying on God to solve our problems for us.

Where has that Gotten us? Oh yes we are the highest poverty capital in the world....Amazing right?

We talked about belief system some days ago. The whole system is controlled by fear, to break out of the crooked system, you have to face your fears.

I would like To use my life story to explain fear to an extent.

Growing up, i played football a lot, I was a natural dribbler who could hold the ball for as long as i want. But on one fateful day on 2005 , i got tackled badly and i fell on the ground and broke my left arm, i spent over 1 year in UCH Ibadan.

Not long after my arm healed, i discovered i couldn't hold the ball as i used to. Fast forward to 2015 i went for a football trial, i played a center forward position, for 90 minutes i had just 10 touches, The scout from West ham Called me and said you're a very good player but you play like you're scared. That statement hit me so hard, i realized for 10 years i never faced my fear (of getting injured again) and it has eaten into me deeply and taken away most of my skills.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING DRIVEN BY FEAR, HOW DO YOU FACE YOUR FEAR AND BUILD COURAGE?

Fear is a Psychological Instrument, Sometimes We are gripped by fear based on things we experienced growing up, Things we heard, things we saw, traumas and the likes, a lot of it. And these Fears feed on our subconscious mind and grow as we grow too without us even knowing it.

I couldn't hold the ball anymore cause fear has grown inside of me for the past 15 years.

Angela Merkel The vice chancellor of Germany (One of the top 5 most powerful in the world) has the fear of dogs cause she was attacked by a dog when she was little

So how do we figure out fears we don't know even know we have?.

 I'll list out few of them

·       Fear of Failure

·       Fear of Rejection

·       Fear of Going broke

·       Fear of Commitment

·       Fear of Dying and Afterlife

·       Fear of Animals

Ray Dalio, CEO of Bridgewaters Associates (The Largest Hedge fund by Assets managed) said

   Everyone has weakness revealed by the pattern of mistakes they make

 Mistakes that are sometimes fear driven. From observing your reactions to life situations, you will discover what is really driving you.

Fears are built up of little submissions to an adversary over a long time. It didn't happen overnight

How do you face your fears and build courage

3 Major steps

1.   Admit your fears, admit you are driven by fear

2.   Meditate, by Sitting down, Clear you mind and Trace your fears back to where it started from.

3.   Take a stand against it

Fight it by toughening up your mind, say to yourself

“I am bigger than you, i will not let you control me anymore.....I take back control of my actions and thoughts, I am courageous”

Take note that overcoming your fears isn't an immediate Action, it takes times, Enjoy the process

Thank you very much for your time!!!

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